Successful Parenting

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TOPIC: SUCCESSFUL PARENTING

BIBLE PASSAGE : 1 SAMUEL 2:12-17,29-30
12.Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the LORD.
13.And the priests' custom with the people was, that, when any man offered sacrifice, the priest's servant came, while the flesh was in seething, with a fleshhook of three teeth in his hand;
14.And he struck it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; all that the fleshhook brought up the priest took for himself. So they did in Shiloh unto all the Israelites that came thither.
15.Also before they burnt the fat, the priest's servant came, and said to the man that sacrificed, Give flesh to roast for the priest; for he will not have sodden flesh of thee, but raw.
16.And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fat presently, and then take as much as thy soul desireth; then he would answer him, Nay; but thou shalt give it me now: and if not, I will take it by force.
17.Wherefore the sin of the young men was very great before the LORD: for men abhorred the offering of the LORD.

1 Samuel 2:29-30 
29.Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?
30.Wherefore the LORD God of Israel saith, I said indeed that thy house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever: but now the LORD saith, Be it far from me; for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.

MEMORY VERSE : "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord". Eph. 6:4

LESSON INTRODUCTION:
Parents have the duty to raise their children in love. God expects parents to bring up children who will love Him, live for Him and make positive impacts I'm the world,believers should note that successful parenting is achievable.

TEXT REVIEW : 1 SAMUEL 2:12-17,29-30 "ELI'S MODEL OF PARENTING"
     Prophet Eli introduced indulgence onto his children's upbringing. 1 Sam. 3:18. This caused him and his children grave consequences:
i. Eli's children became sons of Belial.1 Sam. 2:12.
ii. They became violent whereby they took things by force 1 Sam. 2:16.
iii. They abhorred the offer it of the Lord. 1 Sam.2:17
iv. They love flesh and became sinners. 1 Sam. 2: 16,17.
v. God pronounced judgement upon Eli's family. 1 Sam. 31-33.
vi. The two (2) sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas died on the same day. 1 Sam. 4:17.
vii. Their permissive father died too.1 Sam. 4:18.
viii. God rejected them as priest. 1 Sam. 2:30.
ix. The wife of Phinehas  also died in labour pain. 1 Sam. 4:20-21.

      2 LESSON OUTLINES

LESSON OUTLINE 1: DIFFERENT PARENTING SYTLES
in this outline , we shall consider four(4) parenting styles with names, attributes and measurements.

A. PERMISSIVE/INDULGENT PARENTING STYLE
*ATTRIBUTES*            *CHARACTERS*        */CHARACTER*           *MEASUREMENT*
1. Love                        high display of love
2. Discipline                low discipline
3. Fellowship       fearful fellowship pattern
i. Parents love their children.
ii. Parents give instructions but do not correct the children when they misbehave.
iii. Parents give in to the desires of their children.
iv. Examples are Eli the priest and Mr.& Mrs Manoah (the parents of Samson). 1 Sam. 2:12-17: 29-30; Judges 13:1-2; 14:1-3.

B. UNINVOLVED PARENTING STYLE
*ATTRIBUTES*            *CHARACTERS*        */CHARACTER*           *MEASUREMENT*
1. Love.                       Low love
2. Discipline.              Low discipline
3. Fellowship              Forsaken pattern of                                fellowship.
i. Parents are self-oriented and they neglect their responsibilities.
ii. Little or no time to attend to their children's matters such as career, well-being, problems etc.
iii. They hardly communicate with their children. King David and Samuel were examples. 1 King 1:5-6; 2 Sam. 14:28; 1 Sam. 8:1-5.

C. AUTHORITARIAN/DISCIPLINARY PARENTING STYLE.
*ATTRIBUTES*           *CHARACTERS*        */CHARACTER*          *MEASUREMENT*
1. Love.                        Low love
2. Discipline.               High discipline
3. Fellowship              Absurd  fellowship/          fighting.
i. Parents rule home with authority (iron fist) gave commands and expect no question.
ii. Discipline comes with anger and control is often by punishment.
iii. Children may lack self-esteem lose heart and become frustrated. Col. 3:21.
iv. King Saul was an example. 1 Sam. 20:30.

D. INFLUENTIAL PARENTING STYLE*                     *ATTRIBUTES*           *CHARACTERS*        */CHARACTER*          *MEASUREMENT*
1. Love.                         Love is high
2. Discipline.               High discipline
3. Fellowship              Friendly  fellowship
i. The parents are very loving.
ii. The parents combine love and discipline without compromising stance or either.
iii. The children are happy and have chances of success in life.
iv. Mordecai, the adoptive parent of Esther and Timothy's mother and grandmother were examples. 2 Tim. 1:5-7; 3: 14-15.     


LESSON OUTLINE 2: GOD'S STYLE OF PARENTING"
 there should be discussion on God's special attributes which all Godly parents should imbibe. Some of these attributes are indicated below:
*ATTRIBUTES*           *CHARACTERS*        */CHARACTER*          *MEASUREMENT*
1. Love.                         Very high
2. Discipline.               Wonderful
3. Fellowship              Great
i. God's love is very high to mankind. His love leads to provision of needs to his children. Ps. 78: 23-25; Jer. 31:3; John15:15; 16:27; 2 Cor. 12:14. Godly parents must love and provide for their children.
ii. He disciplines in love by forgiving and by showing mercy when his children err. He restores and encourages and comforts them. Pro. 3:12; Heb. 12:7; 8:12; 1 Thess. 2:11-12.
 The Trinity shows this love to all His children and expects His children to show similar attribute to the children too.


SUMMARY : God's instructions should be watch word for parents in all matters regards to the children upbringing.

CONCLUSION: Parents need to be careful motto either be extremely legalistic or permissive. God's pattern of parenting is balanced by His love, affirmation and grace. 

BEFORE YOU SLEEP:

HONOUR.

Honour says- I may disagree with you but I will never disrespect you.

There are some leaders God ordained to usher you into your next level, never let anyone talk you into dishonoring them.

Goodnight.

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