Christian Couples And In-Laws
TOPIC: CHRISTIAN COUPLES AND IN- LAWS
BIBLE PASSAGE: RUTH 1:1-18
1.Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons.
2.And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there.
3.And Elimelech Naomi's husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.
4.And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten years.
5.And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband.
6..Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the LORD had visited his people in giving them bread.
7.Wherefore she went forth out of the place where she was, and her two daughters in law with her; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah.
8.And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the LORD deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.
9.The LORD grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept.
10.And they said unto her, Surely we will return with thee unto thy people.
11.And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me? are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
12.Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have an husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have an husband also to night, and should also bear sons;
13.Would ye tarry for them till they were grown? would ye stay for them from having husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD is gone out against me.
14.And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.
15.And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
16.And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17.Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
18.When she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her.
MEMORY VERSE :"And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore". Ruth 2:11.
LESSON INTRODUCTION :
Christian couples are expected to live according to the dictates of God's word. For instance, the bible tells us that a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Gen. 2:24. This shows that a line must be drawn between the families from which both parents originated and the new family the couple is building. However, bible admonishes us to honour our parents. Exodus 20:12; Deut.5:16 and do good to all men especially the members of our household. Gal.6:10. It should be noted that in-laws are people related to us by marriage and we should deal with them with godly wisdom. James 3:17.
TEXT REVIEW : RUTH 1:1-18- "SPONTANEOUS SYMPATHY AND EMPATHY"
i. The farewell speech of Naomi elicited sympathy from her daughter in-law, Orphah and Ruth. Both women from the country of Moab (Ruth 1:4) lifted up their voices and wept Ruth 1:9-14.
ii. In their sympathy, both women wept, kissed their mother-in-law and promised to return to Judah with their mother-in-law. Ruth 1:9-10.
iii. But soon, one of the women, Ruth empathized Naomi hopeless condition and saw light i the cloud of emptiness. She was moved to declined the offer to return to Moab. She made up her mind to go to Judah where God has visited the people with abundance and she said, I will lodge where you lodge....your God will be my God. Ruth 1:16-17.
iv. The other woman, Orpah was beclouded with reality of sympathy. She must have concluded that truly, the situation was hopeless as posited by Naomi. She decided to go back to Moab and that was the end that was ever heard about her. Ruth 1:14.
v. But for Ruth, a new story line has just begun. Because she was steadfastly minded (Ruth 1:18), her story lingered on to New Testament and till today. God granted her true rest according to Naomi's prayer. Matt.1:5; Ruth 1:9
2 LESSON OUTLINES
LESSON OUTLINE 1: BUILD A CORDIAL
RELATIONSHIP
i. Teacher should sample the kind of relationship which exists in our society between the spouses and in-laws.
ii. Teacher should use Ruth & Naomi's relationship to buttress the scriptural pattern of relationship between spouses and their in-law.
iii. Teacher should enumerate some guidelines which can foster good relationship between spouses and their in-law as indicated below:
a. Avoid preconceptions: Do relate with your in-laws from a *blasted* perspective. Be open in your dealings with them. Rom. 12:10, 16; 1 Peter 3:8
b. Avoid acting like strangers: Do well to let your in-laws see you as another child of theirs and not a stranger. Prov.18:24; John 15:15.
c. Avoid damaging rules: Make sure you avoid rules that can destroy the relationship with your in-laws.(Tim.5:1-2). Be wise in all decisions relating to your in-laws especially in speech. Psalm 34:13; Col. 4:6
d. Treat in-laws as important people and avoid strife.( Phil. 2:3). Exhibit maturity and patience with in-laws. 2 Cor. 6:4.
e. Remain humble and encourage mutual submission. 1 Pet. 5:5; Eph. 5:21.
f. Always seek peace and pursue it
Psalms 34:14; Rom.12:18
.
LESSON OUTLINE 2: THE THIN LINE
The following guidelines would help parents or in-laws in relationship with their sons/daughters in marriage:
i. In-laws to give breathing space to their married sons or daughters to enable them build a godly home. Col. 3:21.
ii. External interference should be avoided or be kept at lowest level. Matt. 19:4-6.
iii. In-laws can give godly counsels to their married sons and daughters without imposing their views Ep.6:4; Prov. 11:14; 19:20-21.
iv. In-laws can support their children in prayers. 1Tim. 1
v. Couple should be allowed to take their own decisions.
SUMMARY : Christian couples should dignify their in-laws with respect and honour while the in-laws too should reciprocate same gesture.
CONCLUSION: Christian couples must relate with their in-laws in love and as light/salt of the world( Matt. 5:13-14).
Live at peace and remain humble at all times Heb. 12:14.
EVALUATION: Mention four (4) ways by which thin line and cordial relationship can be maintained by in-laws and married sons and daughters.
BIBLE PASSAGE: RUTH 1:1-18
1.Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons.
2.And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there.
3.And Elimelech Naomi's husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.
4.And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten years.
5.And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband.
6..Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the LORD had visited his people in giving them bread.
7.Wherefore she went forth out of the place where she was, and her two daughters in law with her; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah.
8.And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the LORD deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.
9.The LORD grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept.
10.And they said unto her, Surely we will return with thee unto thy people.
11.And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me? are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
12.Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have an husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have an husband also to night, and should also bear sons;
13.Would ye tarry for them till they were grown? would ye stay for them from having husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD is gone out against me.
14.And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.
15.And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
16.And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17.Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
18.When she saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her.
MEMORY VERSE :"And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore". Ruth 2:11.
LESSON INTRODUCTION :
Christian couples are expected to live according to the dictates of God's word. For instance, the bible tells us that a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Gen. 2:24. This shows that a line must be drawn between the families from which both parents originated and the new family the couple is building. However, bible admonishes us to honour our parents. Exodus 20:12; Deut.5:16 and do good to all men especially the members of our household. Gal.6:10. It should be noted that in-laws are people related to us by marriage and we should deal with them with godly wisdom. James 3:17.
TEXT REVIEW : RUTH 1:1-18- "SPONTANEOUS SYMPATHY AND EMPATHY"
i. The farewell speech of Naomi elicited sympathy from her daughter in-law, Orphah and Ruth. Both women from the country of Moab (Ruth 1:4) lifted up their voices and wept Ruth 1:9-14.
ii. In their sympathy, both women wept, kissed their mother-in-law and promised to return to Judah with their mother-in-law. Ruth 1:9-10.
iii. But soon, one of the women, Ruth empathized Naomi hopeless condition and saw light i the cloud of emptiness. She was moved to declined the offer to return to Moab. She made up her mind to go to Judah where God has visited the people with abundance and she said, I will lodge where you lodge....your God will be my God. Ruth 1:16-17.
iv. The other woman, Orpah was beclouded with reality of sympathy. She must have concluded that truly, the situation was hopeless as posited by Naomi. She decided to go back to Moab and that was the end that was ever heard about her. Ruth 1:14.
v. But for Ruth, a new story line has just begun. Because she was steadfastly minded (Ruth 1:18), her story lingered on to New Testament and till today. God granted her true rest according to Naomi's prayer. Matt.1:5; Ruth 1:9
2 LESSON OUTLINES
LESSON OUTLINE 1: BUILD A CORDIAL
RELATIONSHIP
i. Teacher should sample the kind of relationship which exists in our society between the spouses and in-laws.
ii. Teacher should use Ruth & Naomi's relationship to buttress the scriptural pattern of relationship between spouses and their in-law.
iii. Teacher should enumerate some guidelines which can foster good relationship between spouses and their in-law as indicated below:
a. Avoid preconceptions: Do relate with your in-laws from a *blasted* perspective. Be open in your dealings with them. Rom. 12:10, 16; 1 Peter 3:8
b. Avoid acting like strangers: Do well to let your in-laws see you as another child of theirs and not a stranger. Prov.18:24; John 15:15.
c. Avoid damaging rules: Make sure you avoid rules that can destroy the relationship with your in-laws.(Tim.5:1-2). Be wise in all decisions relating to your in-laws especially in speech. Psalm 34:13; Col. 4:6
d. Treat in-laws as important people and avoid strife.( Phil. 2:3). Exhibit maturity and patience with in-laws. 2 Cor. 6:4.
e. Remain humble and encourage mutual submission. 1 Pet. 5:5; Eph. 5:21.
f. Always seek peace and pursue it
Psalms 34:14; Rom.12:18
.
LESSON OUTLINE 2: THE THIN LINE
The following guidelines would help parents or in-laws in relationship with their sons/daughters in marriage:
i. In-laws to give breathing space to their married sons or daughters to enable them build a godly home. Col. 3:21.
ii. External interference should be avoided or be kept at lowest level. Matt. 19:4-6.
iii. In-laws can give godly counsels to their married sons and daughters without imposing their views Ep.6:4; Prov. 11:14; 19:20-21.
iv. In-laws can support their children in prayers. 1Tim. 1
v. Couple should be allowed to take their own decisions.
SUMMARY : Christian couples should dignify their in-laws with respect and honour while the in-laws too should reciprocate same gesture.
CONCLUSION: Christian couples must relate with their in-laws in love and as light/salt of the world( Matt. 5:13-14).
Live at peace and remain humble at all times Heb. 12:14.
EVALUATION: Mention four (4) ways by which thin line and cordial relationship can be maintained by in-laws and married sons and daughters.
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